Honest to God, for grilled steak, just rub a little salt and black pepper. Not much. A steak should taste like a steak.

IF you absolutely must add a little alternate flavor, use a little dab of Worcestershire sauce.

True enough Brother Bill. Leave the steak alone people.

Jungle's Corn Fritters

2 cans of corn
2 eggs
some flour
salt, pepper, schtuff

Basic: Open and drain the corn. Let it drain for a good amount of time. (The less water in the corn, the better the batter.) Separate your eggs. Add the yolks to the corn and mix. Add the flour (~1/4 cup) and fold in. Beat your egg whites until they form stiff peaks. This makes your batter light and fluffy in the end. Fold in your egg whites. Season with salt and pepper.

Get a skillet with 1/4" of oil in the bottom, heat at medium heat, and take small balls of dough and drop them in the oil. (The oil should be hot, but not so hot that the corn starts popping.) Fry on each side, and place on a paper towel.

For variety, you can add: Onions, peppers, jalapenos, ham, bacon, cheese. To thicken the batter and add some "grit", you can add corn meal to the batter. I usually get one can of yellow corn and one can of white for mine. You will have to play with the amount of flour in the recipe to get your batter the right consistency. I usually just shake some in, mix, and repeat until it's the right thickness.

This is great for serving when you're doing a cookout or other "finger food" event. Make your fritters ahead of time and then heat them on the grill. If you have a deep fryer, use it. Oh, and much like the Bluth's cornballer, be careful or you will burn the crap out of yourself.

http://catboxmeow.blogspot.com/2007/10/cornballer.html

There's a teriyaki sauce that has tabasco in it--great for marinating chicken in. Just enough kick but not messy--you can still tell you're eating chicken.
http://countrystore.tabasco.com/prodinfo.asp?number=09575

And lime marinades are good for shrimp. But I would do bacon wrapped shrimp--really good grilled. Use anywhere from 1/3 to 1/2 of a strip of bacon for each shrimp, depending on whether you're working with large or gulf shrimp.
I guess you could do a lime sauce with the shrimp then wrap in bacon, but that might be overkill.

Amen, Brother... "A steak should taste like a steak." -- Wise words...
And the Worcestershire sauce should be added when you're eating, as well as a little Tabasco...

For the chicken, I'd suggest a mix of garlic + salt + black pepper + a little bit of vinegar. Mix it up and check how it tastes... use each ingredient wisely, providing you can taste all of them almost equally. Let the chicken marinate for a few hours and grill it. It's great for chicken wings and chicken legs. Especially if you keep the skin on it and grill it crispy.

Leo, add a little citrus and it will bring your Chicken to life. The acid in the citrus breaks down gristle in the meat of the chicken and makes it even more tender.

My typical marinade would be salt, pepper, onion, garlic, and OJ. Marinate over night, grill, and then coat in Texas Pete mixed with equal parts butter. (More or less butter to make hotter/milder.) Great naked Buffalo wings.

Sure Lost... I use to change the vinegar for lime or lemon instead, because I do prefer them over vinegar... it goes great with some worcestershire sauce too, and can be used with porky meat...

Baier, I'm starving here... I had to skip the lunch to go to the bank, now I'm waiting for the sandwich I have ordered... 20 minutes never seemed so eternal...

you will need a few things.

You'll need to purchase 15 lithium camera batteries
3 cans of lye drain cleaner
red iodine
a shit load of strike anywhere matches
about 50 packs of sudafed.

First take the Sudafed and dump into an Alcohol/ water solution.
Put that over high heat....

Oh damn, wrong recipe.

Chad's Drunken BBQ Chicken:

Tequila
Lime
Margarita mix
Triple Sec
1 Chicken
Mixed fresh herbs
melted butter
1 can of beer

Make a double Margarita with plenty of fresh lime but don't bother with the ice. Place chicken in a ziploc bag with the margarita as marinade. Refrigerate overnight.
Pat chicken dry with paper towels. Season with S&P
Take your fresh herbs (parsley, sage, rosemary & thyme ect.) and put them in the chicken cavity.
Open can of beer, take one large sip and shove the can up the chicken so it looks as though the chicken is sitting on a bar stool.
BBQ covered using an indirect method, basting with butter every 15 minutes or so until fully cooked.

This is sure to be the most tender and flavorful chicken you're likely to eat and it makes for great BBQ bullshit around the Weber with your mates.

Man... I used to marinate and cook meat/chicken/pork with beer... but with a double margarita is the first time I've heard... might taste good, though... gotta try it...

For a quick, Tasty Barbecue sauce, mix equal parts ketchup and Mustard, and Brown sugar and vinegar to taste. Tastes great on chicken even though it's ghetto as hell.

Bayer Aspirin
sulfuric acid
1 bottle Vaseline

Careful the crystals are "touchy"!

Better for the Fourth

Pablo... I've made it once, but I fried some garlic and mixed all up in the pan... The best ribs I ate. Ever.

Johnny Walker cooks TNP! That's awesome.

Do extract your acetylsalicyic out of the asprin by heating in acetone, filtering and evaporating the acetone??

You take equal parts Gasoline and Frozen orange juice concentrate......

Here's a good summer dish for lunch when it's hot. It's also a nice starter salad for a big fancy dinner. I've had several dates that really enjoyed this one.

Asparagus and Goat Cheese with Toasted Pine Nuts and Tarragon

A simple salad that is easy to make. for a variation, try sliced almonds in place of the pine nuts or feta for the goat cheese. The surprising combination of tarragon and capers in the dressing is delicious.

Dressing:
2 Tbsp champagne vinegar
2 Tbsp capers, drained
1 Tbsp Dijon mustard
1 Tbsp chopped tarragon
1 garlic clove, minced
1/2 small red onion, finely chopped
1/4 cup olive oil
Coarse sea salt
Fresh ground black pepper

Salad:
1 bunch of asparagus
4 cups baby arugula (3 bunches or 1 large package)
4 oz soft goat cheese
4 Tbsp pine nuts, toasted

Dressing:
Stir together vinegar, capers, mustard tarragon, garlic and onion. Whisk in olive oil and season with salt and pepper to taste.

Salad:
1. Bring a large pot of salted water to the boil. Cook asparagus till bright green and tender ? about 3 minutes. Drain and pat dry.
2. In a bowl, pour half the dressing on the asparagus while still hot.
3. Rinse arugula and dry well ? salad spinner works best.
4. Toast pine nuts in skillet on stove ? make sure to stir constantly, or they will burn ? as soon as they are golden, remove from skillet, otherwise they will continue cooking and burn.
5. Arrange arugula on plate and divide asparagus equally ? drizzle with remaining dressing. Crumble goat cheese on top, and garnish with the toasted pine nuts.

-----------------------

BTW, if anyone would like to request a recipe, just ask. I cooked my way through seminary.

S.P.- You can take that gasoline and keep adding styrofoam until you get jelly.
It makes a nice napalm.

Easy Bean and Cheese Burrito:
1. Get tortilla (steam them some if they are not pliable enough)
2. Apply refried beans from can.
3. Apply cheese.
4. Fold http://farm1.static.flickr.com/94/258835271_3aace8c181.jpg?v=0
5. Wrap in tin foil.
6. Put in freezer
7. Take to work and nuke.

Delish. I get so much pussy this way I can't tell you.

Baier, he's got a site:
http://www.obiecue.com/BUYSOME.CFM

maybe another giveaway idea...hmmm....

Ok, try this out. This is a little something I made up, but damn!

You start with a stick of margarine and melt the whole stick in a pot. Then you take a whole bag of marshmallows and melt them into the melted margarine. Now you've got to be careful and keep stirring here, and don't use very high heat or it will scorch. Just when the last of the marshmallows have melted you put in a medium sized box of ...I kid you not... Rice Crispies (a breakfast cereal made by Kellogs) and mix it all up. Then you just press it all into a pan while it is still hot and pliable. After it cools, you can cut it into small pieces and eat like a cake or something.

I know this sounds crazy, but it is soooooo good. Trust me.

don't forget that you grease the pan--remember the first time you made it and you forgot that step? It was such a mess that you just threw the pan out...then the raccoons and possum got into the trash and had a field day...

but they did have big grins on their little snouted faces....

B-Man,
If you want REAL Texas BBQ:
http://www.coopersbbq.com/default.asp

They have online ordering with shipping!
If you do order, do not forget the sauce!

Trust me on this!

Word on the street is that authentic Texas chili has coffee grounds. Any truth to that?

BB,
Any, "authentic" Texas chili chef would never reveal what is in the pot!

My chili recipe has coffee (brewed strong coffee, not grounds), dark chocolate and dark beer in it, among many other things.

I think the trick to great chili is slow and low. I cook mine for two days.
And refrigerate over night, reheat and then serve.
Like most pasta sauces, chili is always better the following day.

Feral cats do enjoy refried beans, E. Just make sure you don't feed it to your house cat.

Especially if she sleeps with her back to you.

ANyone have any good Rib recipes for the grill? I'm looking to grill up some ribs tomorrow.

Pablo, marinade your ribs on a good barbecue sauce, let 'em sit there for about 3 / 4 hours.
Wrap them in an envelope made of aluminium foil, put it on a less warm side of the grill and let them there for an hour or so and then open the envelope.
Test it with a fork to check the smoothness... the fork should have no trouble entering the meat.
It's ideal to serve when you stick the fork in it and you feel like the meat is melting... DE.LI.CIOUS.

okay .. for you guys and only for you guys ...

the best scrambled eggs you'll ever make

however many eggs .. and a corresponding teaspoon of cold water per egg

whisk until well blended and frothy

heat a frying pan with 1 generous tablespoon of butter .. med heat will do ..

when butter has melted slowly pour egg mixture into pan ...

continuously but softly keep the eggs moving in the pan by stirring with a wooden spoon

slowly egg clumps will begin to form .. keep stirring remembering the sides and the bottom of the pan ..

be vigilent that none of the eggs remains in contact with the pan for more than a few seconds .. stir !! ..

when the egg has scrambled to your desired consistency serve immediately .. eggs continue to cook after they have been removed from the heat for a few mins .. so adjust pan to plate time accordingly ..

light soft fluffy

trick is cold water .. many use milk but that makes the eggs heavy .. and stirring .. you can't leave them once you start .. and serve immediately .. they don't wait well ..

Leo - The ribs turned out GREAT. Thanks for the tips buddy!

Pablo... those ribs will never fail... I just love them.

I'll be here with new tips during the week... hahahaha

A cold glass of Berocca is the best hangover cure
(available nearly everywhere except the USA)

I bring the stuff back by the case anytime I'm heading stateside.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berocca

bottled water and salty food, or gatorade always work for me.

And mass quantities of tylenol

Strong coffee, just a little sugar. After that, a cold shower and then a huge glass of coke or sparkling water.

Orange juice uses to help too, but depending on how much I had drank last night, the juice hits the stomach and comes back 'Exorcist' way, what's not all bad since it cleanses the remains of alcohol from my stomach...

alternate a glass of water for every drink you drink (water in one hand, drink in the other) and you're a lot less likely to get hungover to begin with....it's all about the hydration.
(figured this one out by accident years ago cause water was free)

Yeah. Water is key. Dehydration is bad.
Used to work with an ex bartender and his advice was -

before you go to sleep do the following:
1. Brush your teeth - alcohol be harsh on the teeth apparently
2. Take a couple aspirin
3. Drink as much water as you can.

One thing I heard you don't want to do is use Ibuprofin. It doesn't go well with alcohol somehow and will fuck up your liver big time.

You aren't supposed to mix them B, just try to brush before you pass out. Works for me.

20 oz. bottle of Sprite (no cans) and a bag of Funyuns = road to recovery.

isn't there a pill out there that you can take before you start drinking that will prevent a hangover ?

best way to prevent hangovers is to slam a small glass of water in between drinks. keeps you hydrated.

Water, dry saltines and a nap. Works for me every time

funyuns taste bad without a hangover .. can't imagine what they taste like with one .. blech ..

1. I tought you needed fat soap ( real soap) for napalm ie. Dr. Bronner's magic soap
2. I avoid hangovers by drinking dirty gin martinis, clear alcohols= no conjuners + olive juice (salt) =no hangover though drinking water helps
3. Here's my receipe for Three Sisters Stew

1 medium to large butternut squash cooked (microwave it) or frozen package
1 large can of corn
1 large can of pinto beans
1 large can and juice of diced tomatoes (not seasoned)
1 medium onion diced
1 small can of green chilies
1 cup or cube of vegetable stock
1 tsp of cumin
1 tsp of oregano
1 tsp of garlic
5-6 sprigs of cilantro
1 tbsp of veg oil

Basically you just combine everything and simmer it until the onions are translucent. You can add water if there isn't enough liquid you can also substitue fresh for any of the canned and use different squash or pumpkin. This is adapted from a Native American tradition.

Well, that's my contribution for now. Summer gets pretty nuts for me. Most people think since I work for a school we get summer off but it's a lot of hauling computers and general overall sucky work. So, I havent't fallen off the earth I'm just exhausted!

JOY WITH BACON!

I had this at Miss C's wedding reception. A friend of her's brought them. Although I've not received the receipe yet, it sounds simple enought to add lib.

Take small pieces (about 1/2-3/4") of water chestnut (yes, the stuff used in some chinese foods) an wrap in bacon. skewer with a tooth pick. Sprinkle a light coating of brown sugar into a baking pan and put the bacon wrapped water chestnuts in the pan. Then coat with more brown sugar and bake until bacon is cooked.

Crunch... Sweet... Bacony. These things were fantastic!

B.B.
That does sound good. I would love to try those sometime.
But, my Best experience with bacon wrapped is:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnP-8HJisSU

My, Ex-wife, was Mexican and she would grill these up as appetizers for special gatherings. I cannot tell you how good they are!

To clarify: My Ex-wife IS (still) Mexican......

alex, there's a pill they sell down here for that purpose. You're supposed to take one before and another when you're going to sleep (if you remember so). Never tried.

I was going to post the bacon-wrapped water chestnuts, but I see its already here. But you pretty much roll the bacon in brown sugar before wrapping and skewering, so there's a lot of it. Those things disappeared way too fast! They called it rumaki sans liver, which is the best way to do rumaki.

Mmmmmmm rumaki

In response to Alex'a scrambled egg post: sounds like a good idea
I've always had good luck cooking scrambled eggs in a wok. Also most people overcook their scrambled eggs too much they should be served wet not cooked to a dry consistency ;)

Served wet? That's what she said!

seriously though, there's a fine line between too dry and undercooked-and-slimy. Scrambled eggs are a delicate process.

Well, I could have used the word "moist" but that sounds even dirtier. Not to mention creepy as well.

Dirty, Creepy, Insane...

Just labels ma'am, and i pay them no mind...

replace the gin with vodka and float some granulated sugar on top of the ice. i don't know what it's called but i used to dink them all the time.

My personal favorite for the summer though

1 part vodka
1 part Tequila
1 part rum
1 part gin
1 part triple sec
1 1/2 parts sweet and sour mix
1 splash Coca-Cola

Nothing beats the Long Island...

nihil,

For future reference:

Ma'am....dirty and creepy....both welcome here!

what the hell is a funyun?

my fave recipe takes a while but is worth it...
cut up pumpkin (preferably Jap pumpkin http://www.moraitis.com.au/products/Pumpkin.aspx ) and roast the bits till they are soft with brown burnt bits on the edges (this is essential, the flavour is amazing)
when they are nearly done cooking, chop an onion and a good amount of bacon. fry the bacon till it gets some crispy bits then chuck the onion in and sauté till golden.
add the pumpkin then dump in a small tin of whole tomatos, juice and all and let that simmer together for a while. oh and add plenty of black pepper and add about a teaspoon of sugar to fix the acidity of the tomatoes.
serve it with pasta + a nice salad.

its one of my all time fave dishes.

Except for the onions--I can't stand 'em--your recipe sounds delicious... gotta try...

Try making a thick sauce with curry, water and rice vinegar to add on this recipe. Make sure you have the strongest curry you can buy. Super!

but caramelised onions are so sweet and delicious!

I swear, I've tried. And the last time I tried I threw up on the lunch table.
And I started a vomit chain 'cause I made everyone puke... hahaha... despite the awful sensation of vomiting, that day was fucking funny.

Leo, I feel you man. Boiled Egg Whites for me.....I cannot tell you how nasty those white chunks are! Gag me, even the smell.

Evangeline, not a fan of pumpkin (never had Jap Pumpkin) but, I promise if you sit that dish in front of me...I will try it. Onion, Bacon, and Pepper that I can go for.

I know most people from the US arent fans of pumpkin, but baked pumpkin has this sweet delicious flavour... Cant describe it. I think its a very australian thing.

I don't know? Most people think I am weird because I don't eat pumpkin. I have just never been a fan.

Maybe I should have said pumpkin as a savoury ingredient? Or maybe the Yanks I know are just odd? :P

Pumpkin is great! Especially the jap. Makes a helluva soup.

Why is it called a jap pumpkin? Does it make you unexpectedly drop a load early in the morning?

I've never eaten pumpkin except in a pie. Might have to give it a try.

Although if my bathroom looks like Pearl Harbor the next morning, i'll know who to blame

Pablo you should definitely give it a try. I dont like it boiled or steamed though, only roasted or in a soup.

I honestly didn't know that pumpkin had a use other than pies, seeds, and jack-o-lanterns.

Pumpkin candy is another example of its use.
It's the greatness in orange. Hard crust and a creamy interior... Oh my, I'm drooling...

Pumpkin candy? I'm intrigued

I'll find a recipe, translate and send you.

my teeth are quivering in their boots just thinking about it :D

Hmmm pumpkin candy sounds good. I should add the easy stir fry I make. I found this recipe from a PBS cooking show Double Happiness (mother daughter Chinese cooking show)

1 red bell pepper
1 yellow bell pepper
1 lb of green beans
1-2 cloves of garlic
1-2 tbsp veg oil
Hoisin Sauce
Oyester Sauce
add veggies you desire or meat, bamboo shoots, water chestnuts, etc.

Heat the oil in your wok/saute pan and then add the green beans and saute then add garlic. Saute in the beans then add the garlic. At this point you can add anything you want, or skip the beans for whatever veg you desire. Just add the garlic after you first long cooking veg and then the two sauces. I usually go for Green Beans (fresh or frozen) red bell pepper, yellow bell pepper, bamboo shoot and water chestnuts. This is really easy and can work with anything.
Bascially, if you just saute a vegetable in oil and then add garlic and Hosin and Oyster sauce you get a really simple stir fry that incredibly tasty. It's very versatile and can be a side or a main dish if you add protein (tofu, or meat.)

It's really tasty and I get a lot of compliments on it. Plus, if you keep the sauces in your fridge you can use it for other things. Nothing beats making your own Chinese stir-fry.

Who needs recipes when you can buy the best of everything online.

Maple Bacon Lollipops anyone?

http://www.dasfoods.com/products_detail.asp?pid=37

I've had those. They are amazing.

The name's a bit disturbing though...Das Lolli: Man Bait...Does Chris Hansen deliver each order to your door?

Chocolate Bacon...on a stick!
http://www.wcpo.com/content/news/saywhat/story/Chocolate-Bacon-A-Sweet-Combo-For-Fair-Goers/5o-nfTo65029AFIyLEY86w.cspx