...and if I had a gun with me, I could have made two or three of them bite the dust yesterday.
Now I'm glad I don't have one, or else I would be typing this from my cell.
I was walking back home yesterday, around 6:30pm, after a hard day at the office. It was a warm evening, I was drinking a beer while walking and thinking about what would I do to relax when in home. 10 minutes more and I'd be home.
I was about to cross the street when a car pulled and the guy on the passenger seat asked me for directions to a club nearby. As I started telling him which was the best way to go, the guy in the back seat opened his window and discharged a fire extinguisher on me. At that moment I felt the blood starting to boil in my veins, and if I were Bruce Banner, I'd be in Hulk mode in less than one second.
The guys were laughing so hard while I cursed and yelled at them and that made me more and more furious. The driver revved and the car went off screeching, and the only thing I could do was to sit down and cry, right?
Wrong! I don't know how it happens when we're high on adrenaline, but I memorized his license plate while turning my arm into a trebuchet that launched the beer bottle right to the car's rear window, leaving an ugly crack, and then I ran. I ran just like Belzebub himself was right after me trying to catch me.
Luckily I was nearby a pedestrian entrance to a residential condo, and I ran into there, closed the gate to gain me a time and kept on running until I was sure they had lost my track.
That's when I stopped to breath, put my thoughts in order and think what was I going to do next. I cleaned out the remains of the powder from my clothes, hair and skin, dialled the emergency number and reported a hit and run, gave the car's description and license plate and walked the rest of my way back home, thinking.
I though about how it was good I don't carry a firearm, or else I could have shot them without thinking twice.
I thought about how idiotic those pampered douchebags were, and how many problems the driver's father will have with the lie I told when I called the cops.
I thought about how good it was when I heard the sound of the the breaking glass when the bottle hit the car.
And I thought about how itchy was the f'ing powder and how bad I wanted to take a shower.
Now that I can think with calm, I see how bad it was tossing the bottle, because if they had caught me, they would break me in pieces, but when I think that I was able to throw it and flee, I can't take this smile away from my face.
Have any of you been the victim of such evil pranksters?
Damn Leo, Just....Damn! A Fire Extinguisher? Those guys weren't douchebags, they were straight up Dicks!
As for the way they took off, i'm sure they had to get to an old lady's house to TP her front yard and knock over her mailbox.
Call the cops every few days and report that license number for hit and runs, reckless driving and slowly cruising past an elementary school.
Oh hell... where are my line breaks?
Damn, it's so sad to look at this flat pile of words when they were looking nice on the typing box...
Good story Leo! I hate guys like that.
I don't own a gun for the same reason. Too dangerous cause there's too many people I want to fuck up.
This happened to me once.
The dudes drove off before I could react.
Good thing it wasn't worse though, like they pulled a gun or something.
PS - You might want to take a different route home for the next week.
I'll take your advice Sheriff. I'll report 'em every day until I feel I've got my revenge.
E, if I could have a gun, I'd go with a shotgun, hands down. And if I had it, by now those guys' bodies would have a neck with nothing on its top.
Sure I will, Baier. For the next month at least.
The thing is that the place where the dicks attacked me (point A on the map) is pretty close from my house (B) [[ google maps link: http://bit.ly/ucLeb ]]
I'll need to walk a lot more to avoid passing there next weeks.
This completely has nothing to do with the douchebags (even though they are on a higher level than douchiness) but has anyone told you that you look like Adam Carolla's brother in your pic?
Now you're being a douche, BD! Dammit! What have I done to make you say such thing about me??
Hahahah. No man, you're the first one to say it.
You should've "Bronson-ed" their asses. What assholes! At least it wasn't something even worst like Baierman said.
Yup, but they are just pampered and bored rich boys, looking for some fun over the other's disgrace.
Other of their sports is throwing eggs on the passerbies or on those who are waiting for the bus.
A bunch of idiots.
Leo,
In, Texas, your neighbors would have had your back!
We love, Fire Power!
Leo,
In, Texas, your neighbors would have had your back!
We love, Fire Power!
Effen, in my neighbourhood, you are lucky if at least 5 of your neighbours know who you are.
And I don't live in a ghetto or a violent suburb.
I coulda swore that I said some time back that douchebags were (and still are) the useless tossed-off excrement of the vaginas they came out of.
Leo, are you in NYC? How douchy are they, really?
I think you and I need to have a douche off, because I think my douches here in Chicago are just fucking pathetic, just real cocksnappers, and can kick any other douche's asses nationwide.
I think I've also got you guys beat in the douche department because we've even got the female douches, too - you know, the uber-hip chick who actually hangs around and eventually fucks the nine or ten out of the pack of roving assholes she meets up with almost every night at Underground or Excalibur's.
She's a fucking hot mess of shitcuntery, with ultrashort skirts, massively teased hair, the slide phone constantly typing on her Twitter ("ooh, look! a colored guy is getting his ass beat by my crew, yo") and cannot hold her liquor for shit.]
I eagerly await your response... or not.
I'm Brazilian, Johnny, but if I were up there I'd surely go your way so we could beat some douches up!
Those guys are douches to the bones. They are those kids who grew up throwing eggs on the passerbies by their apartment's window; those who give a bread to a beggar, but either it's soaked in pepper or laxatives; those who burn a sleeping homeless to death; those who beat the crap off of a woman in a dark street just because they thought she was a hooker--as if beating a hooker were OK--and so on.
You've put it right. They've been defecated from their mothers' vaginas.
I'm sensing a little bit of anger lol.
Those guys sound messed up though. Do they really set homeless people on fire?
Well, most men have a lot of anger - they can't beat the hell out of each other and prove they're men so they hide behind their guns, or in the case of the douchebag, they hide behind TONS of product.
I would like to kill one of them. Honestly.
And there would be no anger, more like a sense of relief that one lesss piece of shit roams the horrid acrid bowels of our earth.
This is the only link I could find on the webs, and this one wasn't even a homeless guy. He was an indian who was celebrating his commemorative day and drank a little too much.
[[ http://bit.ly/y0ceT ]] <- Link inside
I second you, Johhny. Although I'm against violence, those guys should be wiped from the face of the earth.
:/ thats crazy
Leo first this video, then the one about the guy beating his fiance when he found out she cheated on him.
A dark streak?
Maybe Baier, but I hope tomorrow I'll find better things.
Oh, surely my humour will be better. Saturday = BBQ + Beer.
Ok, I'll be fine. I'll send good links then.
"Douchebags should die..."
And, then, there is my "face!"
Sheriff, You know, I tease!
Here's a funny Douchebag related video. Highly recommended.:
http://www.boingboing.net/2009/11/03/douchebag-solidarity.html?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter